I Think They Changed Their Mind

I haven't gotten an email with the information for this weeks filming of Single Daddies.  I'm beginning to wonder if they changed their mind.  When I talked to the lady in charge yesterday asked me for my email and said she would be emailing me the script.  She also said that if the pilot gets picked up, the pay would be $100 per day.  I thought it was very low for a costar in a show that has been picked up by a network, but what was I supposed to say to that? I just replied with an ok, and she sounded a bit surprised that I said ok so quickly.  I'm beginning to think that maybe realized how inexperienced I am and decided to select someone else.  I just feel like I am in no position to demand higher pay at this point and I would be lucky just being a part of the project. I'm so nervous...I already told all my friends that I got the part.  I don't know if I should call them. If I don't get an email by tomorrow I will.
By the way, I got an email about the Skunk Ape audition.  They decided not to go with me for the role and are offering me a smaller part.  Ugh! Don't know if I should take it...but it's better than nothing so I think I'll say yes to it.  Either way, I can't let my head grow by a few nice comments from some people.  I have to get everything I can and build up my resume. Yes, I will take the part!
I don't know why I'm feeling so down. I mean, I have been trying to prepare myself for the worst so that disappointment won't keep me from continuing to chase my dream!  I keep searching in Wikipedia for actresses to learn how they got where they are today and at what age, and to see what they were doing by the time they were my age.  The more I research, the more it motivates me, but at the same time I feel like I should have accomplished so much more by now and I'm running out of time.  The shortest time it had taken someone to break into the business is approximately 4 or 5 years, so that means I would be 28 the youngest to actually make it, if I ever do and if it happens fast! I mean most of these people started since they were in high school minimum, and me...well, I'm super late! So probably would take even longer than the average!
I'm trying to break a record though.  I want to prove that with enough determination and practice I can get there soon even though I didn't start when I was like 5 years old.
I keep getting discouraged though.  Day before yesterday I was out with my bf and he made a comment again about me getting job.  It made me feel like he didn't believe in me.  I got upset because I don't ask him for anything.  I take care of myself.  I understand he worries but I know what I'm doing.   Today he was telling me about all the different stuff I could audition for so it made me feel better, but at this point, it is very easy to get discouraged.

All the Trouble Was Worth It =)

Just got a phone call I few minutes ago.  I GOT THE PART FOR THE PILOT!!! I'm sooooo excited!  They gave me some of the details over the phone which includes not getting paid unless the show gets picked up by a network. They pay if it does get picked up is pretty shitty, but at the time I don't think I'm in the position to be picky and demanding. Don't know if I'm acting in the correct way but I really don't want to lose this opportunity! I mean they must have so many other girls willing to do it for free all the way! It's definitely a foot in the door.  Even if the show doesn't get picked up this has truly gave me the confidence I needed! And it will be more practice. It also makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing something and I am getting better at my acting! I'm so happy I cannot even describe it! They are going to have make up artist and everything! =) More details soon!

Something Always Gets in the Way!!!

I had been preparing for my audition for Single Daddies all day long and I thought I would be sooo ready!! I thought I would get it done early and go to bed early since I am exhausted! Well, I didn't have anyone to do the scene with me so I was kind of screwed.  While talking to my boyfriend on the phone we came up with the idea of having it taped at my acting class.  So I sent out an email to see if I could come earlier or stay late to get it done but whoever it was that answered me made it clear that they wouldn't spend any extra time on me.  It would have to be during the class time.  I asked a friend of mine that lives close by to print the sides for me but he answered too late so I asked another friend of mine who was a bit out of my way.  I rushed out, stopped by Walgreens to by the DVD-R, rushed to my friend's house to pick up the pages, and ended up getting to my acting class ten minutes late.  Class was really good! Lot's of good new info! After class my teacher was so nice and asked me if I still wanted to do the audition. So far so good! We got good shots and went home.
I thought it would all work out, but the stupid DVD was being a pain!!! It turns out you can't edit videos on a finalized DVD! I spend about an hour trying to figure a way to do it.  Finally I found a program that would decrypt it, but it was only showing one stupid video.  When I finally figured that out and edited a video the way I wanted it, after publishing it, lots of parts would be cut off for no reason! So here I am, I finally got it done at 2am again! And I haven't even done my other auditions! Well, at least I submitted this one on time because it is very important!!!

I have not heard from the Skunk Ape casting director yet. I really hope I get that part! =(

Skunk Ape Audition Tape

Ok...so I just finished my second audition video for Skunk Ape.  I feel really good about it =) My friend was able to come over and read the lines back to me and she gave me lots of input on what to do.  I really hope I get this part!  The only thing is the drive would be very far! But I'll do it! As soon as I hear back from them I'll write it here.  In the morning I need to concentrate on the Single Daddies audition because it is for an actual pilot!!! (**cross fingers**)  If I'm selected and if the pilot is picked up for a network, I would actually travel to LA!!! I won't get all my hopes up though. Either way I am just starting so lets not rush things! K! Good night! =)

Batteries Recharged!

I got an email today from the Skunk Ape Casting Director.  They loved my audition tape and are considering me for the role! They sent me more details on what exactly they are looking for in the scene and asked me to send them another video tonight! =) Also, I found another way to make my audition videos by myself =) My computer has a remote and I can control when I play the pre-recorded lines so that it won't throw me off =) I'm excited again and I have my friends supporting me! I have a bunch of other auditions I have to submit but the most important ones right now are the Skunk Ape one and Single Daddies!!! Another opportunity came along as well: Nuestra Belleza Latina.  I auditioned last year here in Houston but didn't get in because I was still in school  This year the auditions took place in San Antonio.  I was determined to go but I missed the date.  Just saw on the news about five minutes ago that they are now accepting video auditions! How exciting!!! So I'm going to try again.  To tell you the truth though, I don't think I'll get in but its more auditioning practice for me.  The thing is that I don't think my body is bikini ready.  I am not fat or anything but my body is not as toned as I would like and I haven't been to the gym as much as I had planned.  Either way, I'm going to try =) Ok...back to work! =)

Feeling Blue...

I'm trying to remains strong-minded but it gets very difficult.  Today is one of those days that I feel like I'm completely nuts, talentless and should just get a real job.  I got rejected for the last audition I sent out and even though I have been trying to prepare myself to be rejected from everything.  I told myself that even if I got rejected, taping all those auditions will help me get better, but I still feel like crap! The email said that they loved my audition and that it was not because of talent but because the character who would play my dad had already been cast and I didn't look like him.  Don't know if I'm looking too much into it but I feel like they just didn't like it.  If it had to do with the looks they shouldn't have sent me an invite to audition after seeing my head shot.  Maybe that's what they tell people they don't want to avoid hurting their feelings...I don't know.  Well, I told my self that when I couldn't let my self quit because of my low points every now and then so I'm not quitting even though I feel like it right now.  I'm tired!!! I didn't finish the audition from yesterday because the whole prerecording deal didn't really work.  I was either going too fast or too slow and when taping myself for the audition I was concentrating on the timing more than the acting.  It got really late and I decided to call it a night.  I got some stuff done today but I didn't get my auditions done and it's disappointing.  It's just hard when you don't have someone to read you the lines back and I don't think my sis wants to help anymore.

Out of Resources!

So this pass weekend I guess I've been taking advantage of my sister a bit and she might have gotten tired of it, whoops!  She has been helping me with my audition tapes when it comes to recording, reading the other characters lines and such.  She is usually locked up in her room as soon as she gets home and she stays there all night experimenting with make up and I've been pulling her away from her routine.  I told her I would leave her alone today because I felt bad.  The past few nights I've been going to bed at around 4am trying to tape audition tapes to perfection, editing them and putting them together.  I'm sooooo exhausted right now! Just want to go to sleep but I have another audition tape and my sister has locked herself in her room before I even had the chance to ask for help again.  I guess that's her way of avoiding the favor LOL.  I got to get this audition done and I can't do it talking to no one so I decided to improvise! =) I have taped my self doing the opposite character's lines first and I'm just going to play that video on my laptop and respond to it as if it was a person.  Hopefully it works! Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

On another note, I've been getting some pretty good responses from the audition I submitted last night! =) It was funny how it happened.  It was a pretty long audition compared to the other tapes I sent out.  It had four different short scenes. It was way to big to email and when I reduced the size it was way to small to really see my acting.  I decided to uploaded to youtube and make it where only those with the video's url address could watch it.   I realize I posted it here but I don't even know if there is anyone out there who even knows about this blog! Well, I didn't realize that the people who are subscribed to my youtube page for my belly dancing videos would get a notice that I had a new video up and that it would be visible to them.  This morning I wake up and see three emails from youtube making me aware that I had comments on my audition tape.  My heart sunk thinking I was going to receive the worse criticism ever!  To my surprise, I got really nice comments! That absolutely inspired me to keep going at this and made me realize that I am not aiming at a dead end goal!  I realize it is something so insignificant to others but to me it means so much! =)  I feel so much more confident!

By the way, today was that music video.  I took my mom with me and she freaked out for a while because there was a camera that was focused on my chest movements and another focused on my hips lol.  She thought they were perverts!  It took me a while trying to explain to her how the whole filming thing works but she feels better now.  It was a very fun experience and something more to add to my very small resume so I'm excited!

Well, I got so much crap to do tomorrow and I'm probably not going to get enough sleep again because this audition thing takes a long time, so I better get at it! 

**If there is anyone who is actually reading this, thank you =)

Unplugged Audition-Done!!!

I'm excited to say that I was able to do my audition tape for the short film Unplugged =) I had to submit it via youtube due to it being too large to send through email.  I'm nervous about this since I still to grow so much and I'm not that good but I'm including the link here =) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDHvmnbIX4k  try not to make too much fun of me.  And you can see here what I'm talking about with the accent but I think I'm getting better than before. 

I'm thinking of posting all my auditions here so you guys can see how my acting improves =)

Good night and wish me luck! =)

Audition for Unplugged

AAAAhhhh!!! I'm going crazy here trying to create my audition tape to this short film! It's such an interesting role too that I really really want it but can't seem to get it right!!! I thought all this was going to be the easiest thing but I was in for a big surprise! This film is about a journalist who is investigating a cult only to find out that her dad was the one who started it all.  Really really good!!! Deadline is tomorrow!!! Ok, back to work now!

Audition Tapes

I'm up so late because I've been working on some auditions =)  As I said in my last blog, I received quite a few invitations to audition from the website I found.  I worked on an audition for a short film called "Skunk Ape" which is going to be a comedy/horror film about a group of people searching for big foot.  The two roles I auditioned for were Rebeca who is part of the film crew joining the hunt, and Vulnavia (weird name, I know!) a gold-digger trophy wife  who is the first to encounter big foot.  The thing is that this is in Dallas....but I really don't mind the drive.  I have two more auditions I have to work on by tomorrow as well.  Well, time to sleep! It's super late and I really have to get rid of these horrendous bags under my eyes!!! =) 

Short Films

Good news! I got a bunch of responses from the websites that I emailed my resume to!!! The HEB thing didn't work out but now there are so many more thing lined up! I'm very happy and ready to give it my all!!!  I actually had an audition Tuesday but I decided not to go because the character required a scene wearing only underwear.  When I first submitted myself for it I thought, "why not? it's just like wearing a bathing suit!".  I'm glad I didn't do it though.  I had my acting class last night and my acting teacher said that I made the right decision because I want to be known for my talent and not for taking my clothes off.  She said later on when I was making the big movies it would be ok, but for now it's not good to do anything just to get a part.

Today I'm going to be working on audition tapes that I need to send out since most of the responses were San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, etc.  Another thing, I am going to be participating in a music video this Sunday where I will be belly dancing.  It's a hip hop song but they want to have different specialty dancers, so that's another experience for me that will go in my resume! =)

Yesterday I did two monologues in my acting class: Dramatic and Comedic.  I learned that I should not act  like I'm crying if I can't make the tears come out! Soooo...now I have to concentrate on how to make myself cry!!!  I also learned that comedy is the hardest of the acting genres that are there.  The monologue that I chose unfortunately didn't suit me but I'll be working on more.  Ok...well, got to get working on my audition tapes. More info soon =) 

Found New Castings Calls =)

Ok, so I didn't mention before but I am from Houston, TX which is not really such a great place to be if you are trying to become a real actress.  There's barely anything going on here.  I had been signed up to a Houston Film website but it rarely gets casting calls.  I also signed up to actorsaccess.com but it's the same problem.  I am currently waiting on a response to an email about being an extra for an HEB commercial tomorrow, but if I haven't heard by now, then it probably means I didn't get it.  Oh well =(  I am really excited right now though because I just ran into a bunch of websites with casting calls around Texas.  Most of them are not paid but I really need to build my resume and gain more experience.  I've only been to two auditions since I decided to pursue this.  I completely bombed the first one because I was late and didn't full read the story.  When it was my turn I completely messed up a line.  In the scene I was trying for, my partner had just gotten shot while we were in the car and I was supposed to yell "What are you waiting for? Get out of here!", but since I didn't read what was going on, I said the line very casual and everyone was starring at me like I was dumb.  Well, it was a learning experience.  So yeah...that's what I'm doing right now.  I'm sending a bunch of emails all around Texas and I really don't care if I'm broke.  Even if I have to max out my credit cards I'll drive wherever I need to in order to participate in a film =)  More info soon.

Intro

For now I would like to leave out my name and see how this goes first.  I am 23 year old Mexican-American.  Just graduated with a Finance Bachelors degree May 2010. I live with my younger sister, little brother, mom, grandma, and aunt...no dad. Never met him and it doesn't look like I ever will.  I was born in the USA but lived in Mexico until I was about 8 years old so English is not my first language and I have a bit of an accent.  Don't want to go into so much detail for now about my living situation because I would probably end up writing a book about it =)

The reason I decided to start this blog is because I would like to share my experiences when it comes to reaching my dream...if I ever do reach it.  My dream is to become an actress, singer, songwriter, dancer, etc.  Don't we all dream that, right?  Who knows, it just might happen.  Even though my odds are pretty slim, I believe that anything can be achieved with hard work, discipline, and faith.

I have regrets, but crying over them won't change my past.  My biggest regret is spending all of my life being ridiculously shy.  That's been my biggest curse.  I can't expect to become a star being shy right? Trust me, I'm working on that!  I wasn't always shy though.  Back in Mexico I would participate in anything that had to do with a stage.  I wasn't afraid to speak my mind no matter what.  At the age of five I was already a performer.  One of my uncles organized birthday parties for children and I was one of the acts imitating Selena.  I gave it my all =).  Wherever we went that had some kind of dancing contest, I would participate winning every time.

When we first moved back to the United States, I was still not shy at all.  I attended a bilingual school up until the fifth grade.  That's when I changed.  Even though I was forcing myself to learn English faster, it was very intimidating.  I became more and more quiet.  Kids would make fun of me because I couldn't reply most of the time, so it got to me.  By middle school I was a whole different person.  Not only was the language barrier to blame but the school district I attended was not very friendly and it was full of bullies, which made it harder for a child to develop into everything they can be.  I was able to participate in the pep squad for a while, until our money allowed it.  Uniforms were pretty expensive.  I wanted to participate in other performing arts but never did again. High school came along, and even though my English had been perfected by then, it was very hard for me to get out of my shell again.  I finally got the courage to try out for the dancing team in my sophomore year but my mom was so overprotective that she didn't allow me.  Then I got a part time job and that was the end of that.  I no longer had time to be in any extracurricular activity in school.  Dancing has always been in my blood so I would spend my free time recording performances I liked on TV and teaching myself.

College came along and my time was even tighter than before.  I became a huge belly dance fan and taught myself how to dance it through the internet and manage to join a belly dance dance team in my sophomore year of college.  It lasted only one semester but I learned so much and it reminded me how much I loved the stage.  I took a choir course, and even though I love to sing, I was still too shy to do my best and ended up dropping it. Last year I was able to join another belly  dance group and we had several performances which helped me a lot more. 

So here I am now. I'm tired of my shyness stopping me from doing what I love and I am ready to overcome it.  I know some people might think it's too late since I haven't really had any real experience before now.  I sucked at Speech Class because I couldn't stop stuttering when I presented in front of the class, so how can I even be a true performer?  Well, I decided I wasn't going to wait any longer.  If it is not now, then never! October of 2010 I signed up for my very first acting classes.  I was freaking out!!!! But I did it and loved it.  I made a short student film for practice and slowly but surely, my shyness is fading =)  I am currently taking beginners method acting lessons and I'm getting better every time!  I auditioned for a small part in a web series and I actually got it and had the opportunity to film it a few weeks ago.  I was told the character I played will be back a few episodes later.  It's going to take a lot of hard work and dedication but I'm willing to go all the way!!!!  I don't care how hard I have to work for this! This is what I want to do and I won't stop even though I might not be that great at it now.  I just know I will become great!!! =) Hopefully I can prove it to you guys, if there is anyone reading this! =)

WOW...and I said I wasn't going to go into much detail...